What Once Was
by BelovedShadow
Summary: When Sasuke agreed to baby-sit his friend's daughter, he didn't know he was agreeing to answer a bunch of personal questions, leading him on a trip down memory lane, where he begins to recall an old lover. ITASASU YAOI n't like don't read.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or setting of Naruto... I do own Yui... but not her parents : )**

**Warning: This work of fiction contains graphic sexual language, please do not read if you feel that you do not wish to, or if you are legally prohibited from doing so where you live.**

-Ring Ring Ring-

"Koncha,"

"Sasuke! Can you do me a favour?" The Uchiha frowned at the familiar sound of his blonde-haired best friend's voice. He'd met Naruto Uzumaki in college, God, that had been... fifteen? Sixteen years ago? ... He was getting old!

"What kind of favour? I'm not gonna tell Hinata that you were with me last night, if it's that sort of thing that you need..."

"What? No, nothing like that... but seriously, don't tell her where I was, you _know _she hates my eating habits, I'll never hear the end of it, she'll totally freak out!"

"Whatever, Naru. it's between you and the 24/7 Ramen stand. None of my business. So what's the actual Favour then?"

"Can you baby-sit tonight?-Just for an hour!"

Sasuke sighed. "Fine, I don't have anything better to do... but you _do _realize that Yui is far beyond old enough to stay home alone, right?"

"I didn't ask for your parenting advice! To me and Hinata she's still just a baby, you wouldn't understand, Sasuke; you don't have children."

"She's fourteen..."

"I'll drop her off in twenty minutes." Naruto replied, ignoring his friends fairly valid argument, then with a click he was gone.

***Forty to Forty-five minutes later***

"Uncle Sasuke, can I talk to you?"

"Have you finished your homework?" Sasuke looked up to see Yui's black hair swishing back and forth as she nodded her head up and down.

"Okay, what's up?"

"Well... you know how my dad's really overprotective?" Sasuke nodded along as she continued. "I was just thinking the other day about... how different my life would be if... if I was _your _daughter, don't worry I'm not about to ask you to adopt me," She assured with a grin, seeing the shock on her "uncle's" face. "It's just something I was thinking about, and then it sort of suddenly occurred to me, that you've never had children... why not?"

"Is that all? Tch. That question has a very simple answer. There aren't any women that I would conceive a child with. That's all." Sasuke said plainly, smirking to himself.

"Really?" Sharp blue eyes stared at him in disbelief. He just nodded, quite amused that the child was so amazed by his lack of interest in women... apparently Hinata and Naruto had never informed Yui of Sasuke's homosexuality.

"Haven't you ever been in love? I mean, certainly you've said 'I love you' to at least one person."

...

_His hands weren't soft when they touched my face, they were callused, the hands of a working man. Still, they soothed me to sleep with ease each night. I would lie there in bed with him as those hands stroked my cheek gently. He'd place whisper-like kisses on my eyes... nose... and finally lips. _

_I could feel a smile playing at the corners of my mouth, and I looked up at him, speaking his name quietly._

_"Yes?" He replied, resting his forehead against mine._

_"I love you." I said to him. He chuckled, making me frown._

_"No really!" I insisted. "I absolutely adore you." I continued, brushing my own fingers against his cheeks. His face wasn't like his hands, it was soft, like the skin of a goddess._

_"I believe you." He whispered back to me, kissing my hand softly. "I love you too." He added with a smile, turning over so that he was on his back before going on. "Much more than I should..."_

_I ignored his last comment, curling up into him tiredly, letting out a sleepy yawn against his chest and allowing the calm sound of his breath soothe me to sleep."_

...

"Yes, I've been in love." Sasuke replied quietly.

"What's it like?" Yui inquired dramatically, nearly bouncing with excitement.

"It's exactly like it is in the fairytales, or... at least it was like that for me. There's something sort of magical about it, it's like nothing else matters for a while."

"You make it sound like a fantasy!"

"Well, it _is _kind of surreal, and most of the time things that are too good to be true don't last very long."

"You shouldn't be so pessimistic." She commented, before blushing bright red... she'd inherited that from _both _parents, the poor thing...

"What?" Sasuke asked, noting the blush.

"Have you ever... you know?"

Sasuke laughed, taking a sip of his tea. "You _are _a curious little girl aren't you? You shouldn't ask so many questions, curiosity killed the cat."

"Hai, but satisfaction brought it back! No one ever says the end of that rhyme."

Sasuke nodded solemnly, quite impressed that the children of her generation even _knew _that rhyme in the first place. When he looked back up at her he found that she was pouting rather cutely.

"C'mon, I won't tell my parents if you tell me. They never talk about sex... have you ever done it?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm a thirty-four year old man, Yui. What do you think?"

She giggled. "What's it like?"

...

_"Sasuke... that feels... so good."_

_I looked proudly up at him, continuing to bob my head up and down on his cock. As I increased speed, he threw his head back. I could hear his breath becoming labored, and when I ran my tongue across the head of his length again before swallowing him whole, I could feel the thick oozing pulse of his orgasm as it took hole, spurting into my waiting mouth. I didn't mind the taste, I never did. I would do anything for him, and at that point, he still would have done anything for me..._

_He looked down at me as a response when I allowed his name to roll off of my tongue. I continued with what I was saying: "Can we... try something."_

_"Of course, whatever you want." was his automatic reply. I stood, whispering huskily into his ear, telling him exactly what it was that I yearned for. As I spoke, I could feel his nether regions re-awakening against my leg._

_When I was through voicing my request, I let my lips linger on his ear for a second longer before pulling away to gaze at the beauty of his face. He looked worried and excited, like a young child standing on the edge of a diving board for the first time._

_"Are you sure about this?" He asked, already sucking greedily at my neck, I purred, managing to whimper out a word of reassurance before leaning back on the bed and pulling him on top of me. _

_We had already been naked for god knows how long, maybe three days, living together made it easier to get lost in our own world back then. We loved it. Now it just complicates things even more... but never mind about now... back then we were naked nearly all of the time, he didn't used to work as much, and I've never worked a day in my life, so three days off meant three days in the nude for both of us._

_It was our first time that day, people like to say that the first time is the best. I disagree, but that's probably just because he topped. I'll never forget the feeling of that first slender finger as it made it's way into my entrance._

_It was coated in mentholated lubricant, so it was more awkward than uncomfortable. The second finger was when it began to sting. I didn't mind though, he soothed the pain with sweet, wet kisses and broken promises of love. Of course, they weren't broken then, so they comforted me a great deal. I barely noticed the insertion of the third smooth digit until it brushed deliciously against my inner walls in the most magical of ways._

_I learned later that he'd stroked my prostate, then it just felt like heaven, I really didn't care why. I cried out quite audibly at the pleasure of it, which he took as a sign to remove his fingers. The empty feeling displeased me and I pouted, but was answered only with a light chuckle and a peck on the lips as he aligned himself with my hole._

_When he entered me... pain doesn't exactly describe the feeling well enough. Agony is closer, but still not quite on the nose. Yet all I felt was happiness, as the feeling of giving myself completely to him filled my entire heart with joy._

_"Why are you smiling like that?" He asked me huskily, kissing at my neck again._

_"Nothing, I just love you. That's all."_

_"You should be screaming... you embarrass me Sasuke." He said with a light hearted laugh. I didn't get it at first but when I did, I smiled up at him._

_"I assure you, there's nothing wrong with your size. It's excruciatingly painful, actually." I commented with a frown. Now his laugh was genuine. Presently, he was filling me to the brim, all of him was inside and this was the tedious part when we waited for the pain to fade enough to have some real fun._

_"If it hurts so much, why don't you cry? I've heard you shriek out because of pleasure..." He mumbled against my neck. I laughed._

_"Well you see, sir. I have a father with a nasty drinking habit... let's just say I've been through worse than this."_

_He growled, it was a low feline-like sound. Ha. My very own tiger. He changed the subject quickly, Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha aren't people that either of us like talking about for too long. Especially the former._

_When I was finally ready, I could feel myself relaxing under him. The intrusive sensation of his manhood inside of me was starting to feel better and better by the second, and it didn't take long for me to be literally begging him to move. Of course, it wasn't a request that he was inclined to deprive me of._

_His thrusts where long but quick, filling my to the hilt repeatedly. Assaulting my ass with such speed that I would have thought he was nothing but a blurry phantom, had I not known better._

_Our love-making was passionate and brief, neither of us were able to last long that first time. No matter how much foreplay we'd toyed with before, it would take us nearly a year before we could last more than twenty-minutes during actual intercourse. But then again... we were only children, although we may not have thought that at the time._

_He collapsed on top of me, giving me a tired sloppy kiss before rolling off of me. I just lied next to him, trying to catch my breath. The orgasm I'd endured had been extremely powerful, and also quite unexpected. He propped himself up on his elbow._

_"You're only sixteen years old and I've already taken you, Sasuke, what would your poor mother say if she knew?" He asked with a playful smirk. _

_I laughed, petting his cheek. "The exact same thing yours would." I responded, grinning mischievously. _

_He chuckled along with me. "Good answer." He mumbled tiredly, leaning back into his pillow. Only a short while longer, we were happily dreaming._

...

"Sex is... a lot of things. It depends on who it's with." Sasuke answered. In truth, he'd only ever done it with one person, but he was quite certain that it would have been entirely different with someone else.

"Have you ever done it with someone that you truly loved?"

"Yes."

"The same person from earlier."

Sasuke smiled, she was smart for a kid. "Yes, the same person. I'll never love anyone else."

"What happened to them?"

Sasuke frowned, trying to will the tears away, but he knew they would come. They always did when he remembered that day.

...

_"I can't fucking believe this shit! You nasty little faggots like to touch each other, huh? Is that what it is? Tell me Sasuke, do you like sucking his fat cock while he's asleep?"_

_Father always yelled too loud, the whole neighborhood could hear him. The accusations where nothing new. I'd be beaten for it, you'd be safe, mother would remain ill in her room like she always was, oblivious to the world around her. But it was different that day. Something in you snapped._

_"Don't talk to him that way!" I couldn't believe you'd said it, but you had. Fugaku had gone insane, the sound of the bottle hitting your head was loud enough to wake Mikoto. I still remember what she was wearing when she ran out into the den. That pale-blue pajama dress, she had three different sizes of it for when her weight went up and down. _

_"What's going on?" She asked, her voice was so weak, it silenced the room. Father looked at her furiously. Striking her without hesitation as he stormed his way out of the house. It was the last time we saw him, which is probably the only good thing that came of that day. Mother turned to you with wet cheeks. She was crying, and you looked like you were on the verge of tears yourself just seeing her like that, I know I was._

_"Please stop... it makes him so angry... please.." She begged to you. I was younger, it wasn't my choice._

_I avoided you for so long after that, I was sure that you'd be uneasy about picking up our relationship where it was after all the commotion it'd caused. I still didn't know what she'd meant when she'd said to stop... she didn't know about our relationship. She just meant stop angering Fugaku, right?_

_I'd never find out. Three weeks after that she died. Leaving us alone with everything she'd ever owned and held dear. It wasn't until the night after her death that I finally came to you._

_I remember being so nervous as I knocked on your door._

_"Enter." You said in monotone. I'd never heard you speak with such lack of emotion before... I'm much more used to it now._

_"Can I sleep in here with you?" I asked quietly, I was still crying, and I could see that you'd just finished doing the same._

_"No." The answer hit me like a bomb._

_"But-"_

_"The last thing she said to me before she died was to stop." You interrupted._

_"But... she didn't know... she didn't know about what we did... she didn't even know how much I love you."_

_"We have to forget how much we love each other, Sasuke."_

_"I could never forget that... could you?"_

_"Of course I can. You're already forgotten." You looked at me with such cold eyes. I believed you. _

_Now, living with you... loving you and knowing that you'll never admit to feeling the same way. It's torture. People in the outside world see us as two brothers who never had the decency to move out of their parents house. I think of us... as two lovers, who never had the strength to let go._

...

"Uncle Sasuke?" Yui asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Sorry, Yui... It's just... hard for me to talk about."

"Ohh... Did they die?"

"No, Sweetheart, they didn't die. They've just been trying desperately to kill the part of them self that I fell in love with."

"Why? Do they not want to love you back anymore?"

"You really are a smart little girl, did you know that?... You get it from your mother." Sasuke added with a smirk as he heard the doorbell ring. The door was answered before he even had the chance to get up. Had someone been in the hallway that whole time?

"NE! Sasuke! I'm here to pick Yui up!" Naruto called loudly from the foyer as he walked into the sitting room.

Yui went to put on her shoes and coat. Naruto looked suspiciously at Sasuke.

"You and Itachi haven't been fighting in front of her have you?" The blonde asked.

"No, why?"

"He answered the door crying..." Naruto replied softly as Yui called for him to hurry up.

"I'm sure he's fine."

"Really? Because you look pretty torn up yourself."

"We're both just fine, Naruto. Get out already, just because Yui gets to come over doesn't mean I'm hosting a tea-party!"

"Fine, fine. We're leaving!" And with that, he was finally out the door.

***Later That Night***

Itachi heard familiar light steps making their way towards his room, his body tensed slightly, but he knew there was no use in that. Sasuke had been able to break his mask today without even trying, it was pointless to hide his emotions now.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in, Otouto." Itachi said, exhaling a deep breath. Sasuke walked into his room topless with deep royal blue pajama pants hanging lazily on his hips.

"Can I sleep in here with you?" He sounded like a child all over again, but in truth, he'd never really lost most of his childish looks. You'd have to hold conversation with him for a long while before realizing that he was a good twenty years older than he appeared.

"Of course you can." Itachi answered.

Sasuke smiled and climbed into bed with his brother, nuzzling into the slightly older man's neck, getting comfortable with ease in the arms that he knew so well.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Nii-San."

"It's not your fault... that girl... the questions. They just made me think of the way things used to be." Itachi answered sadly.

"Don't think about the past." Sasuke replied with a gentle kiss. "From this day on, we will look only into the future."

Itachi smiled, kissing his brother back.

"I love you Sasuke Uchiha."

"I know you do." Sasuke said closing his eyes. "But it feels amazing to finally hear it again after so long."

"Does it?" Itachi asked with a chuckle.

The younger Uchiha nodded. "Yes, it's wonderful; see: I love you Itachi Uchiha. Feels good, doesn't it?"

Itachi smiled, pulling his Otouto closer.

"It feels perfect."

**A/N: I hope you liked this! I thought of it in the middle of class one day, and just HAD to write it, sorry, I know I've been neglecting my other works. I'M ALIVE!**

**Hehe... REVIEW!**

**Thanks always for reading!**

**With love,**

**-Beloved**


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